Soultrain Sequil---Tattooed Man Visiting Family Dollar in Search of Coffee Filters and Fly Chicks

I was eating breakfast at Grandma's with Ashley this Memorial Day and I gave her a foreshadow of this blog.  If you remember right, I had a similarly ironic/uncomfortable occurrence on April 7th 2010, and yes I had to look that up I'm not some weirdo that memorizes the date of every life episode. 

It all took place on Sunday afternoon.  I was in Toledo, Ohio with my mom and Grams, we were having a shopping afternoon, and lettme tell ya, it was a very successful house ware accumulating day.  We were hitting up Family Dollar (that store has everything, I am in love with their house stuff ie: framed pictures, floor mats, wrought iron candle hanging things, etc. F'real check it out.)  and getting some wedding centerpiece pieces.  Don't think I didn't buy an awesome clock for my freshly painted bathroom, or a rug to place in front of my kitchen sink, or 2 mirrors that you put candles etc on. Don't be fooled this isn't like the Dollar Tree where everything is a dollar, it's all over the price spectrum.

Moving along in the story.

My mom and I were in line ready to purchase our jazz.  And there was a [probably] 27-year-old-guy all tatted arms, probably his neck too, even had a form of tear drop tattooed under his eye.  He's holding simply one package of coffee filters (who knows maybe the F.D. has the best coffee filter prices in town.)  One register was open and this man who was obviously a regular goes, "Man, I'm surprised they don't have another person checking people out." <-- or something along those lines, I have a bad short term memory.

My mom is a real polite gal and says;

"Oh you are only buying coffee filters, you can go ahead of us." (since we were buying probably 8 different items, or something.)

MAN: "Oh no way hun, I'm in no hurry, I have all the time in the day, plus it's always ladies first."  

MOM: "Oh well thank you."

I am ahead of my mom in line. So me and tattoo man are Oreoing my mom in other words.  (Keep this in mind for later in the story.)

We are heading out of the store getting into our car in the ol' Family Dollar parking lot.  Then it happened.

Tattoo man was backing up in his Jeepy thing and calls out of his window to me:

"You've got some paint on your elbows. Both of them actually."

ME: (All awkwardly) "heha... yeah been paintin'"

TAT MAN: "I'd help yah paint, but I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't like that, that much."

ME: (All awkwardly) "ha... yup."

I should have been quicker on my toes and been like, "Yeah I don't think my girlfran would be down with that."  or, "Do you always pick up chicks at the Family Dollar?"  or "Really... in front of my mom, dude?  Party foul."  

Then tat man zoomed off, probably feeling like a d-bag that his Family Dollar store game didn't work this time.  

Oh and by the way.... Here are my elbows... and he musta really been checkin out to see the paint on that one, cuz don't forget he was the outside crust of that Oreo.

 Right Elbow

  Left El to the bow.