Deep, TMI???

I've never considered a friend to be a close one unless we have had or are able to have deep meaningful comfortable conversations.  The ones where you hold little to nothing back.  Maybe I don't let myself get too attached to people because I just expect us to drift apart, or for them to walk away.

Friends come and go, anyone can tell you that.  You have the ones that will never leave, because your relationship has been through so much and you genuinely love that person.  But I'd say I have 2 friends, 3 counting my (wonderful) husband, that I wont let be like the other however-many-I've-lost-count-friendships.

To be honest, there is only one friendship that my heart still hurts over.  I doubt he even knows who he is, in the sense that I did/do/always will care for him.

Now don't be all ridiculous and think this is an ex, or someone I longed to be with.  Far from that.  So, stop thinking you are reading some deep juicy gossip.

So, I am writing this to say.
You may have tried for far too long to gain your friends the wrong way.  But I really did care about you, love you as a close friend.  I understand you are on a journey to fill the empty pit, as so much of the world is.  You need success--good.  Money--you've made it clear that you have it.  Love and acceptance--I loved and accepted you.

Money was your shield.  It was what you had at the end of your line.  You tried to buy acceptance. I hope you've learned, that money isn't a reflection of your worth.


I'm going to end this abruptly.